People over Platforms
My latest mantra for life, business, and success.
I like to use mantras as guiding principles in my life. They are always rooted in my values and are born from some sort of tension or struggle. Some might refer to these as breakthroughs. I’ve had my fair share and they’ve brought forth mantras like “you don’t need anything,” “journey before destination,” “dare to fail,” and now “people over platforms.”
How it started
We’ve all been feeling it—this tiredness of social media. I’m not original in speaking about this. It’s been on my mind for years and has been validated by bigger cultural writers and thinkers like Ted Gioia and Robbe Reddinger to name a few recent reads about this. But I could probably list twenty to thirty other articles I’ve read or conversations I’ve had about this topic.
In the latest article I read, Robbie talks about social media and the algorithm concluding,
And I hate it.
I hate how the companies took something with a grain of good and turned it into a drug. A seed of promise for artists and creators and sharers, relentlessly pivoted and regurgitated into a cascading slop of senseless garbage, layered into a landfill lasagna of advertising. No skills learned, no inspirations gained. Just forgettable nonsense.
I hate how the algorithm knows me so well, that it can prick the parts of my brain and light it up like Rudolph’s nose when I see a skateboard trick, a largemouth bass, or someone unclogging a drain on my phone screen. I hate it for the slot machine that it is, that I physically can not stop myself from scrolling and losing 15 minutes to two hours of time whenever I open the app.
I hate the hours its taken from me. The first thing when I wake up, the last thing before I go to bed. Hours that I used to use for reading, or working on a project at home, or even watching a movie from beginning to end. I hate it for pulling my eyes away from my kids when they’re telling me a story about their day or asking me a question about anything at all, no matter how stupid or inconsequential it may seem. I hate it for running like a background server in my brain, all those bits of information and opinions and ice-cold hot takes distracting me from pinning down a real original thought. These moths and mosquitoes flying around and taking up whatever little space I have left to think about things.
It resonated hard, summing up much of how I’ve felt about it but didn’t know how to articulate it.
Antisocial Media
The positive argument about social media, the internet, or technology in general is that it has connected us like never before. Great organizations have been able to unite and push for change. People have found communities that bring out the best in them, and make them feel safe and heard. Families and friends can reunite and stay in touch.
AND all the opposite is true too. We’ve never been so disconnected from each other. There is a loneliness epidemic. Organizations that seek control over others and spout hate have pushed for change and won. People have found communities that play to their worst possible thoughts or traits only exacerbating them, forming large echo chambers of garbage conspiracy theories or endless hate speech. Division is at an all-time high and families and friends have been broken apart by it.
Was it all worth it? Can we accept all the bad it has brought along with all the good? Could there have been better ways forward? Will we continue to learn of many more negative or positive side effects of this moment in time? I have more questions than answers.
Mourning the loss
Robbie speaks about a loss of time and attention with other people. I see it. I see my friends do it. It’s not just Social Media. It’s our entire phone. I have distinct memories of being in a group of friends and seeing everyone on their phone so I begrudgingly take mine out too to fit in. I see friends on their phones half the time or more that I’m with them, even if I haven’t seen them in months. They may change the subject or bring up a topic out of nowhere that is influenced by an interaction they just had on their phone. Or worse, they just chuckle.
How wild this new world is. You can be spending time with a friend or family member and they aren’t even there with you. They are having an interaction with someone else. Think about that. What if you were in a group of three friends and one person wouldn’t talk to you but instead whispered to the other as they chuckled? How would you feel? You’d probably have some type of FOMO. I would like to think we used to see that as rude and would never do that to a friend, but now it’s commonplace. Someone might be having multiple digital conversations or ruminations about the digital world happening while spending time with another in real life.
What if you were having a drink with a friend catching up and every few minutes someone walked over, tapped on their shoulder, whispered into their ear, your friend waved their hand, and then the person walked away? This is what smartwatches do. Who thought this was a good idea for humanity? There is no way that you are really connecting with any of these people. Not the one you’re with in real life, not the one you’re having side convos with digitally. What are we even doing? It’s no wonder we don’t feel connected to anyone anymore.
Robbie makes the argument that we went from cigarettes to social media but even with cigarettes, people were social in real life and the risks were clear.
They but not me right?
I’d like to think I’ve gotten better. Most of my notifications are turned off, I don’t let them come to my watch, and even when I get notified, it’s a vibration instead of a noise. But it’s not enough. Even the feeling of the vibration can take me out of the moment. If I put my phone upside down on the table, it can still draw my attention because I know deep down the power it holds. The mystery, the promise hooks me. Maybe I missed a text or email. Maybe it’s an emergency and I’m needed now. Or maybe it’s an opportunity that I have to read now, reply, and seize before it’s gone. Or anything else that my black hole rectangle of limitless potential could spit out at me.
Notifications don’t even matter. All it takes is that well-known shape in the corner of your vision or that familiar pressure in your pocket. It’s ever-present and your attention could drift to it at any moment. But who am I kidding? I’m not immune, it has me addicted just as much as it has everyone else. I don’t need a notification, a feeling in my pocket, or a visual cue. It’s imprinted itself in my brain. Even if I’ve left it in another room, I might still try to reach for it in my pocket or reach over and tap the empty table like my phone was there and I wanted to see the notification screen.
This year, I’ve started to leave my phone on a nightstand out of my reach when I go to bed. It helps prevent me from endless scrolling while in bed, but I can still feel its pull. It almost pains me to put it on the charger and leave it. The potential it represents calls to me. I have to beat down this inner yearning that tells me I’ll miss out on something really important if I leave my phone seven feet away from my person. And then when I wake, my first thoughts are to my notifications, my email, and my texts. I can’t wait to get up and check them. Are these the thoughts and feelings of a well-adjusted human to a tool or an addict to a drug?
Like Robbie, I hate all of this. I hate that I have those impulses and feelings around this stupid rectangle. I hate it when I see friends focused on their phones while I’m hanging out with them. I hate it when I let my attention drift to my phone while hanging out with others. I hate that it causes this FOMO or anxiety around what I might be missing. I hate that it’s altered my brain, that this silly little lump of metal and silicon has so much power over me, and that there are “corporate overlords” who know how to wield it better than me to get anything they want.
It saddens me to think of the lost time and connection with friends and family or lost creativity. What is each of us capable of creating, learning, or connecting if we didn’t have this addiction to consumption? This question bothers me deeply. I believe we are all capable of so much more and I love investing in friends’ hobbies or passions. This isn’t to say we need our work or source of income to be our passion or a creative output but with all the hours outside of work what are we not accomplishing because we are on our phones?
Ça va?
Our phones are a powerful learning resource though. I am trying to learn French and of course, there is Duolingo. I almost had a year streak under my belt before I gave it a rest. Then I started taking French lessons from a local language center. These lessons were on Zoom, which worked better with my schedule, and even though they weren’t in-person it was incredibly more challenging than Duolingo and I learned a ton more. Then I came across something that resonated with me. Language is quite literally what humans invented to communicate with other humans so why would you base your learning off of communicating with an app or a bot? Because of my year on Duo, my listening and speaking ability is shit while my reading ability is barely passable.
The Conundrum
Here’s the funny thing of it all. As much as I hate it, I’ve built my life around it. I’ve turned into a bit of a content creator. I use my human powers of creation to feed the machine. 95% of my work in 2024 was for a brand or myself to post to a Social Media platform. Reflecting on my year, I look back at overwhelming and stressful moments. Yes, I had a ton of fun, traveled to some beautiful places, made some great content, AND I was hanging on by the seat of my pants the whole time.
It felt very much like the content machine itself. The hungry ghost, never satisfied. I worked so hard and now most of my work is irrelevant. Gone down the scroll so far that it will never surface again. The things I’m pouring my hard work into last for a significantly shorter period than it took to create. Smells like a recipe for burnout if I’ve ever smelt one.
Business is Business
However, I am running a business that needs to make money and I need to make things or provide services other businesses will pay for. Businesses want Social Media content. They want to feed the machine, vie for attention, and stay relevant. That’s where I come in. I help them create the content that is supposed to convert views to clicks by appeasing the algorithm and getting as much attention as possible.
Is that what I want? Do I want to create things that get as much attention as possible? Is there more to all this? Am I forever bound to the business of making ads?
Attention
Attention feels like the latest gold rush of humanity. Bronze and iron turned into oil and plastics and now attention mining. It’s a scarce resource and mining it for corporate profit is ruining our minds the same way oil mining has been ruining our planet. I don’t think participating in this is the way forward for me or my business. I’m starting to wonder about new directions.
I’m fortunate to have some amazing mentors in my corner. One is a great filmmaker and he’s always talking to me about the process being his main motivator. When he creates a film, he’s looking at how it helps the people in the film connect more deeply with themselves, each other, or their community. His films are always beautiful. He’s not focused on creating a blockbuster or promoting his new short film, maybe to a detriment. To have the process of creation being ENOUGH. Isn’t that enough? Isn’t that amazing?
But what about a business? They can’t make money that way. It’s a funny thing that sometimes attention and recognition come to those who don’t seek it. I have to believe that the journey matters more than the destination. How does creation change when we focus more on the journey of creating itself? “Journey before Destination” is another mantra and is a direction I want to investigate for my business.
Wrap it up already
If you made it this far, thank you! I didn’t expect anyone to read this whole thing … which is kind of the point right? I’m not writing these blog posts for attention. I’m writing them for the process and connection. Writing is a powerful tool for reflection. Writing this blog helps me think through the ruminations in my mind. I inevitably grow from it with clearer reasoning and direction. I’m also writing this for connection. To connect with others who’ve noticed their phone habits. To help anyone connect with the person sitting next to them. And I hope that you also changed by reading this.
And so, here we are, back to the mantra. People over Platforms. In my personal life, it means prioritizing human-to-human connection over social media: coffee dates, dinner parties, a beer after work, etc. It means before I scroll, open Instagram, or even tap on my phone screen, I pause and think, “Is this the best use of my time in this very moment and place?” For my business, it means being intentional about what I’m creating and how it can help people connect with others, themselves, or nature. It means working with clients or finding clients who want to create content that matters. Not content but art. Images and videos that can bring people together, tell stories, and inspire others.
I want to build the world I want to live in. That world is full of beautiful humans with all their personalities, flaws, and creations. A world where we feel connected to each other and where we live. Won’t you join me?